my new blue top

My new Blue Top and my Indecisive nature.

Anita by the sea, wearing a top I made out of an offcut of a dress
A blue top I made for my holiday. I upcycled the offcut of a dress that I had shortened for a customer.

(Excerpt from my diary October 2015)

My only fault one of my many faults is that I have an indecisive nature; I can almost always see both sides of an argument! This has led to me pondering whether I have done the right thing: I have resigned my manager’s post and start the office job that I have been offered in a few days. But I did really need to get out of my job in retail?

One side of the argument goes like this;

I have realised that I seem to thrive on stress! Working in retail, I was always dashing around and staying late even when I suppose I could have gone home; just finishing off one last thing to make it easier for me or the next day’s duty manager. I quite often did far more than I really needed to just to hit one target or another.
So I wonder; will I find semi-retirement too sedate, too safe, and too boring with no challenges? Am I going to get old more quickly due to the stagnation of my brain and the inactivity of my body?- My fitness levels at the moment are high due to all the heavy lifting and running up and down many flights of stairs which are part and parcel of any job in retail. Will I become very unfit from sitting at a desk in work and my sewing machine at home?

As a retail manager I was also very competitive. I always aimed to have the best standards; the cleanest, the tidiest, the most organised, and the most profitable shop. I tried to hire the best staff who would give only the best customer service. To achieve these goals, I happily gave 120%. I trained people to be the best they could be so that they too could keep up my standards.

So how will I cope when I am a small fish in a big pond, the new girl, the trainee who knows nothing and at the bottom of the ladder?

The other side of the argument goes like this;

I love learning new skills, especially involving new technology so there will be plenty to get my teeth into there! So I am sure that I will love the challenge of learning how to work in a modern office –the last time I worked in an office was in 1978. (Where there were no computers or even electric typewriters!) I’ll meet lots of new people every day, both colleagues and customers and so have all the interaction that I need. Crucially,I will still be part of a team, which is very important to me. I will also enjoy working hard to meet the targets of my new employer as every company needs to have high standards . Working part-time will also bring in just enough money to stay solvent. I’ll also get out of DH’s way for a few days a week; giving him me a break! The fact that I will no longer be in charge will mean that I won’t have to stay late or go to work at stupid o’clock in the morning. Plus I won’t spend my “spare” time planning the next promotion or floor move. Thankfully, I will no longer arrive home sweaty and dirty from moving the shop around on delivery day.

If I can also spend time, making beautiful hand-made items to wear and to sell. Wouldn’t that be lovely? It’s a no brainer? Right?

we adress with photo of my new blue top
So are you indecisive too?  How do you process the arguments going on in your head? What stories have you got to tell?

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